The Pain of Consequence
by Silindro
Summary: Oneshot. A simple sleeping arrangement mishap leads to more than just a sleeping surprise in Han's bed. This is one of KnightedRogue's proposed 'close calls' on the trip to Bespin.


A/n: This one goes out to KnightedRogue, who has the best argumentative reviews I've ever read in my life. Just to let you know that I respect your opinion on the consummation issue, I wrote you this story to convey how I think one of those 'close calls' can be interpreted. Hope you don't mind that I took your unknowing plot bunny away from you.

And for the record, GL can kiss it if he doesn't like Star Wars sex talk. I'd like to point out that Han and Leia have three children so at some point in their relationship they were getting some action.

By the way, this is my first more-than-semi-smutty fic. It's another roller coaster of emotion. Enjoy.

Standard disclaimers apply.

**The Pain of Consequence**----

Of all the places in the galaxy, Leia never expected to find herself indefinitely in the company of the one person that unknowingly brought on a swell of emotion so great within herself that it felt hard to breathe. She was lost in space with a scoundrel, a smuggler, a person of such ill repute that it was shameful to think the things that she had been thinking were actually going through her mind. She was a woman, after all. Women had feelings and desires just like every other sentient being in the galaxy.

Han Solo seemed to bring every feeling and desire to the forefront of her mind every time he was near. He was a man that came once in a thousand years, the kind that frustrated and aggravated her to no end. He had no respect for her royal name, no respect for the planet from which she came… But at the end of the day Leia still felt that she needed him near to be complete. She wasn't a woman without that male counterpart by her side.

When the flight to Bespin had been charted out of necessity Leia hadn't truly understood what 'no hyperdrive' had really meant. It was one of those things that just didn't happen, like a freak accident where your neighbor's cousin's sister's boyfriend's father was killed flying in restricted Imperial airspace. No hyperdrive meant a long and excruciating confinement with the worst that society had to offer, and a droid that didn't understand what personal space really meant.

The first kiss in the circuitry bay had been unexpected, a spur of the moment mistake that had quickly escalated into one of the more perfect and climatic points in her life. She had been so adamant with herself that she would not be swayed by his good looks and charm. She would not become attached to someone who knew they couldn't stay forever. She would not fall in love with someone she knew she couldn't keep. But in the end she decided that she wouldn't let herself let him go without a fight.

Circumstances on this ship being what they were, sleep was an accommodation that was neither comfortable nor easily achieved given limited capacity and manpower. They had adapted a schedule for lookouts and maintenance that for the most part were followed, but the captain never followed any set of guidelines. Frequently Leia found herself roused from light slumber to the sound of clunky boots pounding on the steel walkways, or a murmured stream of curses as Han's latest attempt at fixing his prized ship failed.

When the schedule had been officially enacted, Leia had retreated to the highest bunk against the far wall in the sleeping quarters to get her rest. It was the only bunk not inaccessible due to storage issues. Of course the sleeping quarters were little more than small beds that lined the interior of a short hallway (a larger, Wookiee sized sleeping space had been rendered on the opposite side). It was easily accessible to anywhere should an attack happen and people need to get to their positions.

The first long watch the Leia had been forced to sit through had left her tired after it was over. She had been stressed and worried and the very thought of Han Solo no more than thirty feet away left her emotionally exhausted. The only thing on her mind was sleep, and lots of it.

Walking back to her bunk she realized that in order to get there she needed a good, strong hop up onto the mattress. Her cramped muscles being what they were, just weren't ready to give her that boost of energy. Taking any of the other beds was out of the question. They were either loaded with tools and equipment or a gigantic sleeping Wookiee.

Walking further down the hallway she came across the captain's bunking cabin which was blissfully empty. It had been Han's turn to play the part of lookout, but he had been late to show up and Leia had been too tired to wait on him. Taking another look down the corridor she wondered if he was going to be coming back to his cabin before taking up his post.

_Probably not_she thought to herself. _He's irresponsible, but he's not stupid enough to leave the ship unattended in the middle of nowhere. Not like you, anyway._

Peeling off pieces of her more restrictive clothing and throwing them into the corner, she let down her hair and crawled into the spacious bed with little more than a slight realization that she would have much explaining to do should the captain come back before she woke up. What would Han say if he found her asleep in his bed wearing little more than her underclothes?

But none of this mattered, really. She was slipping fast into sleep and even faster into the point of no return…

----

The watches were getting longer, Han decided as he left the cockpit area to retreat back to his cabin. It was Chewie's turn to sit and stare at nothing for a while so he could get some much needed sleep that everyone seemed to be lacking on board. When they weren't keeping an eye out for other ships it seemed that they were always busy fixing something broken.

Walking into the room, he switched the lights down to their lowest setting. He closed the door behind himself, kicked off his boots and began to strip down into nothing. First he would need a quick run through the refresher and then thirty or forty winks with his head on a soft pillow. Maybe if he was lucky he would get to enjoy himself without any distractions or interruptions of the female kind.

Stepping into the refresher he let his thoughts wander to Leia.

She'd been acting bizarre as of late. And on more than one occasion he could remember catching her looking his direction when she didn't think he was paying attention. It all started after the kiss in the circuitry bay. It usually didn't take long for women to throw themselves in his bed after that first kiss, but that had been days ago and she was still keeping her distance.

He knew that she was a very complex person, one that didn't come right out and say what they meant, but she usually meant the things she said. But she wasn't saying anything. Han didn't understand it.

Of course, he never truly expected Leia to throw herself in his bed. She had class, something that he and his company seriously lacked. But he wasn't one to give up so easy on something so good.

Walking back out into his cabin, he surveyed the dark room. It had been ages since the last time he had cleaned. There were even pieces of women's clothing still left bundled up in the corner from the last time he'd docked before Tatooine. And that had been a very long time ago.

Shrugging off his towel, he lifted the covers and crawled into bed. Immediately he knew something was amiss.

Rolling onto his opposite side, he propped his head on his hand and felt what he thought was a mass of blankets and pillows only to find after peeling back the cover that it was a living, breathing member of the royal house of Alderaan.

_So much for Leia not throwing herself in my bed, _he grinned smugly. _This could be good._

Careful not to wake the sleeping woman, he reached his arm under the blankets and pulled her body closer to his own. The cabin was slightly colder than he liked and body heat was a good solution to the problem. At least that's what he kept telling himself to justify his actions.

He was quite surprised to find that the modest princess was very scantily clad in nothing more than a tight fitting, white undershirt that rode high on her torso and matching pair of shorts. He ran his palm over her bare stomach, marveling at the softness of her skin. This was the Leia that no one saw.

Tracing his hand further up her body, he ran a finger over the curve of her breast, wondering what it would be like to taste the flesh underneath. Even further so was her graceful neckline with inches of skin perfect for touching. And then her lips…

He remembered the taste of her lips like he remembered the taste of a forbidden fruit. It was a flavor seductive and sweet and sitting right in front of him. Just one taste, only one, and he would be satisfied.

Leaning down he brought his face to within an inch of her own. He could feel her soft breath blowing gently against his cheek, innocent and inviting. And then there were her lips again, just a nudge away. He couldn't help himself, he was only human, only a man.

At first he was timid, afraid that she may wake and be angry for what he was doing. He didn't want his chances with her shattered like glass. But the more he drank it the more he couldn't contain his passion. He just didn't care if he was caught anymore. He tugged gently at her bottom lip, hungry for more than just her kisses.

Moving further down he nuzzled at her neck, inhaling the unique scent that belonged entirely to her and no one else. It was musky and feminine and seductive. He couldn't get enough of it. His hands started to wander further down, rubbing delicate circles on the flat skin of her torso, just below the hem of her shirt.

At some point Leia's mind began to near the edge of consciousness. She was vaguely aware of a tingling sensation deep within the pit of her stomach and soft trails of fingertips against her skin. It didn't take long for the mechanics of the situation to connect. What she had hoped wouldn't happen had indeed happened.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she considered the pros and cons of her situation. She was lost in space with a Wookiee, a smuggler, and a walking tin can of knowledge with no visible sign of hope or rescue in sight. She had several days earlier shared a rather intimate kiss with said smuggler. And now she was in his bed, next to naked with his hands and -and _lips_ all over her body.

Think, Leia. Use your head on this one, not your desperation. He's not going to be around for very long once this is all over.

The hand that had been nudging itself against the hem of her shirt had found its way under and was slowly working its way toward for savory territory. Meanwhile, Han had begun to work on the base of Leia's throat, a very sensitive spot that she hadn't noticed until he had brought it to both of their attentions.

_I don't care, really, _she decided. _If he's going to leave then let him go. But this is something good, making the best of situation. It's been so lonely and so long…_

Throwing caution to the wind, she reached up and touched the side of Han's face, startling him into awareness. He had lost himself in temptation, forgetting that Leia wasn't just another woman to fuck and forget about. He hadn't even noticed that she was awake. But she surprised him by bringing his lips down, crashing them into her own in a fiery kiss that startled him into full arousal.

Pushing at his shoulders, she knocked him down on his back. He instantly reached up to hold onto her hips, pulling her down roughly to rock against him. She let out a gasp at his obvious state of arousal. Even through the sheets she could tell how much he craved her.

"Han," she moaned as she leaned down to kiss him again.

He was ready and willing to accept her kisses with a heated fervor of his own. His hands had once again begun to wander, over her back, her head, and then down to grab at her backside. She sat up, resting her hands on his stomach.

"What is it?" he asked, feeling slightly paranoid that maybe he wasn't good enough for the standards of someone who could've had any man she wanted. For the first time he began to feel a little self conscious about himself.

Leia, on the other hand, was having an internal struggle to gain control of herself and her raging desire. She had never felt more powerless to anyone or anything in her life. Even Darth Vader paled in comparison to the strong surge of confusion and pain that was beginning to swell deep in her chest.

She knew she couldn't attach herself to someone so roguish, someone so adamant about maintaining their independence at all costs. She told herself that she couldn't get caught up in the life of someone that was only going to leave hers as quickly as he came, but still she persevered. She wasn't a quitter.

But she was so utterly alone in life. Everyone that she had ever loved and cared for was gone. She had no protected ties in her life, no one that she knew for sure would still be alive and accepting of her at the end of the day. In some way she had failed all of them, Bail, her mother, her friends. It was her fault they were gone, all gone.

The tears burned at her eyes long before they actually fell.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she left his body, favoring the very edge of the bed. "I just can't do this, not right now."

"Was it something I did?" he asked, feeling more insecure about himself than ever before.

"No, it isn't you. It's all my fault. I'm the failure."

Han sighed and ran a shaky hand over his face. Women and their blame game. He wasn't very in tune to feelings, especially when being left high and dry. But something told him that there was more to the story that he needed to know. It wasn't an issue that could be left alone forever.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked, trying his hardest to be sensitive to her feelings and emotions.

"You can be here when no one else is," she answered softly.

"There's no place I'd rather be."

It was more of a reprieve than she expected, but hollow words were no better than lies. She questioned whether or not he was merely being polite or letting his sincerity get the better of him. More than likely the former, though she didn't understand how anyone, let alone a man driven by his masculinity, could put together coherent thoughts when left in such a state.

In the end she decided that she was no better than the people that conspicuously left her life as inconspicuously as they came. She was good at pushing people away, and they were more than happy to go. There wasn't anyone she couldn't shake given adequate enough time.

A wry smile broke through the fog of desperation.

----

a/n: That's the longest oneshot I've ever done. Quite proud of myself I'll have you know. I just hope it wasn't too sporadic for you. I mean, one second they're all 'yeah baby let's get it on' and the next they're laying on separate sides of the bed with Leia questioning herself. Sometimes you gotta sacrifice something small for the greater good, I suppose.

If you were lost and confused by the author's note at the beginning of the story then go and read my other story Clandestine Moments and the author's notes throughout. Check the reviews page for KnightedRogue's responses that started this fic.

It's a fanfiction sin to read without reviewing.


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